Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
