Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
