Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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