ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
