There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I booty called her while she was in labor.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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