Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
