you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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