Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
