We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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