It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He shit in the fireplace
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
