Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
