Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We left an ass print on the piano.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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