apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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