OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
