If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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