there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize