if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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