walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
