sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
