i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
