I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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