NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
