Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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