Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it was like eating out sand paper
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
