so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You need Xanax blowdarts
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
