Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
