i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
