if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize