So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
