I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just google imaged poop.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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