if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
