going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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