cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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