who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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