hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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