if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He passed out mid-signature
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
