I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I lost the right to judge tonight
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize