Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
