Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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