Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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