we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
