I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
