are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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