Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The power of my boobs compel you
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
