no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
even my farts smell like vagina
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
