:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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