yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
