I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I love you. Go after that dick
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
