Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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