I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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