You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
