dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
