Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
