My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
