Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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