Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
