i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
