had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
