pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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