There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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