You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
