I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
