my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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