she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
