Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
