Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
