no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
